The Humble Bragger
We all know one... that one person who has to make it known that they did something good today. You know, Mike who posted on Facebook last week that he helped an elderly lady cross the street. Or David, who told the entire office and every person in the cafeteria about the guy at Starbucks who was being rude to the Barista so he spoke up for her and won the battle. Yep. THAT guy. I like to call these guys "Humble Braggers." Men (and I use that term loosely, women can also be guilty of this) who feel the need to broadcast their good deeds to anyone and everyone who will listen.
Look, a good deed is a good deed. But is it worthy of telling everyone? What exactly are you looking to get out of this? A pat on the back? A high-five? People to come swooning and praising you for being such a gentle and kind soul?
NEWSFLASH: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD PERSON!
Yes, you DO deserve a pat on the back for picking up that empty cigarette pack off the ground and placing it in the proper receptacle! That's a great thing you did!! You know what I did today? I picked a booger the size of my pinky fingernail out of the nostril of a screaming three year old... WITH MY BARE HANDS. Did I post my accomplishments all over Facebook? No. I did not. I gave myself a high five and quickly washed my hands with very hot water...
In the service industry, we see a slightly different type of "humble bragging." I'm referring to the guys that openly announce how much money they have and seem to expect something in return... You know, that construction worker that boasts about the $200 tip he gave to some waitress on a $50 check when she was having a bad day, and she was so ecstatic she gave him a big hug and then they went to dinner the next night and drank till 2am. Or the guy that owns a yacht and throws a huge party every year, he invites all the local bartenders and it turns into a 3-day bender...
Cool story bro.
As a female in this industry, I have to be very careful as to how I interact with or accept a generous tip from a "humble bragger." Are you expecting the same reaction from me that you got from the other waitress? If I don't give you a hug or promise you a night out, will you still continue your generosity? Do I have to solely accept this invitation on your yacht or can I bring the whole fam?!
Like any bartender, I'll sucker up to everyone and give the best service possible in exchange for a good tip! If I know what you drink, it'll hit the bar before your butt hits the stool. I'll already know when you order your wings that you only like flats, naked with buffalo on the side, extra crispy with lots of blue cheese. I know that you like your burgers medium rare, you want a water with no ice when your food comes out, and you absolutely HATE onions. My point is: I'll take care of you, if you take care of me. But not in that way.
The problem with the humble braggers is that they seem to expect something extraordinary out of their good behavior. In the industry, 99% of the time, it's sex (or at least some sort of special attention). It's this crazy illusion that if they humbly tell you about how they made someone else's day, maybe you'll go a little "extra" mile to earn it as well. It's gross, and to be quite honest, it's demeaning. Don't get me wrong, I've known girls in the industry (and have worked with some... *ahem*) who have done some real shit for money. Am I judging them for doing that? Absolutely I am, to myself. But hey, we all have different stories and I know for sure there are a lot of women in this industry like me who prefer to just keep it professional. A good tip can make my day, but when it's given to me with a "there's more where this came from" kind of attitude, I'll take it and leave. Thank you, come again!
Humble braggers everywhere just need to hear one thing: If you did something worth telling about, go ahead and tell your close friends or your family about it, tell your spouse or even better, tell your kids and teach them a thing or two about paying it forward! Your good deed deserves recognition... not attention.
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Look, a good deed is a good deed. But is it worthy of telling everyone? What exactly are you looking to get out of this? A pat on the back? A high-five? People to come swooning and praising you for being such a gentle and kind soul?
NEWSFLASH: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD PERSON!
Yes, you DO deserve a pat on the back for picking up that empty cigarette pack off the ground and placing it in the proper receptacle! That's a great thing you did!! You know what I did today? I picked a booger the size of my pinky fingernail out of the nostril of a screaming three year old... WITH MY BARE HANDS. Did I post my accomplishments all over Facebook? No. I did not. I gave myself a high five and quickly washed my hands with very hot water...
In the service industry, we see a slightly different type of "humble bragging." I'm referring to the guys that openly announce how much money they have and seem to expect something in return... You know, that construction worker that boasts about the $200 tip he gave to some waitress on a $50 check when she was having a bad day, and she was so ecstatic she gave him a big hug and then they went to dinner the next night and drank till 2am. Or the guy that owns a yacht and throws a huge party every year, he invites all the local bartenders and it turns into a 3-day bender...
Cool story bro.
As a female in this industry, I have to be very careful as to how I interact with or accept a generous tip from a "humble bragger." Are you expecting the same reaction from me that you got from the other waitress? If I don't give you a hug or promise you a night out, will you still continue your generosity? Do I have to solely accept this invitation on your yacht or can I bring the whole fam?!
Like any bartender, I'll sucker up to everyone and give the best service possible in exchange for a good tip! If I know what you drink, it'll hit the bar before your butt hits the stool. I'll already know when you order your wings that you only like flats, naked with buffalo on the side, extra crispy with lots of blue cheese. I know that you like your burgers medium rare, you want a water with no ice when your food comes out, and you absolutely HATE onions. My point is: I'll take care of you, if you take care of me. But not in that way.
The problem with the humble braggers is that they seem to expect something extraordinary out of their good behavior. In the industry, 99% of the time, it's sex (or at least some sort of special attention). It's this crazy illusion that if they humbly tell you about how they made someone else's day, maybe you'll go a little "extra" mile to earn it as well. It's gross, and to be quite honest, it's demeaning. Don't get me wrong, I've known girls in the industry (and have worked with some... *ahem*) who have done some real shit for money. Am I judging them for doing that? Absolutely I am, to myself. But hey, we all have different stories and I know for sure there are a lot of women in this industry like me who prefer to just keep it professional. A good tip can make my day, but when it's given to me with a "there's more where this came from" kind of attitude, I'll take it and leave. Thank you, come again!
Humble braggers everywhere just need to hear one thing: If you did something worth telling about, go ahead and tell your close friends or your family about it, tell your spouse or even better, tell your kids and teach them a thing or two about paying it forward! Your good deed deserves recognition... not attention.
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